


Pages of a Book

by iJoeyMonster



Category: Original Work
Genre: Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 04:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16695154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iJoeyMonster/pseuds/iJoeyMonster
Summary: Prompt from tumblr. (Can't find the prompt to link).





	Pages of a Book

The first time the light appeared I was counting stars. I could only stare as they disappeared into the overly bright light now lighting up my world. I frowned as I stared up at the sky, watching the white, fluffy cumulus clouds float by. “Who’s there?” I called up to the sky. Silence greeted me, and I frowned more. I was going to give up and turn to find something else to do, but a tentative, shy aura touched at the edges of my senses. I blinked in shock. I knew this feeling, but it had been years since anyone last opened the pages of my book. I stared at the sky and huffed. “What do you want?” I asked rather grouchily. I could feel your shock and sadness. I felt bad. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.” I apologized quickly. I felt your tentative smile. Your reluctance. “Really. I’m sorry. It’s been so long since anyone has read the pages of my book. I was caught off guard.” I sat in the lush, green grass. “You can say that I wasn’t certain if it was real or not.” I admitted. “I’ve had dreams where this has happened, but it always ends up with me waking to the darkness.” I could feel your presence still there, but you were quiet. “Please say something.” I said. It took a moment, but I could feel your voice. My hopes plummeted. “I.. can’t hear you.” I whispered. I felt your small smile. Suddenly, the darkness was back. I blinked once, then twice, then twice more. I stared at the dark sky where the stars twinkled in their joyous dances. A pang in my heart, and I felt alone.

Days pass quickly for me. The light comes back at regular times, and we sit and talk. I let you in, and I feel your quiet acceptance of me. It makes me happy to finally find a reader who enjoys my company. I feel your inquiry to my creation. I take a moment to think back and gather my thoughts. “My creation.. .was.. the best I can describe it is just being there. One moment I was nothing, then the next, I had formed as a thought. Slowly, the thought grew. The author printed each letter to my books’ pages slowly. He or she truly put thought into my creation.” I shrugged. “It was a long long time ago. I’m sure you know that. My book is probably worn and falling apart by now.” I frowned. “Hey.. why did you choose my book?” I asked quietly. I could feel your words as you spoke, but I still could not hear them. “Why can’t I hear you?” I interrupted suddenly. Your silent ‘I don’t know’ blew on the gentle winds, ruffling my hair. “Maybe… maybe it’s because your voice is so quiet. Your aura.. it’s so shy. Maybe… you need confidence. Some self-esteem.” My fist meets the palm of my hand and I grin up at the sky. “Yeah! Tell me why you’re so shy!” I practically demand in my excitement. I want to get to know you. I want to be able to imagine who you are. I want to see and hear you. So I sit back and close my eyes, letting the feelings of your aura pass the silent words into my thoughts. 

A sound like thunder startles me out of my serenity and I look up. Dark clouds are moving in, and raindrops slowly fall. One hits me on the head and I squeak. My eyebrows scrunch together and I look at the sky intensely. “Hey hey, what’s wrong? Are you crying?” I ask, worriedly. I can feel your quiet nod. “Hey, don’t cry. It’s okay. Why are you crying?” I ask, panic setting in. Did I say or do something to upset you?! I bite my bottom lip and wrap my arms around my legs. “I’m sorry if I did anything to hurt you.” I say to the ground. I feel your aura wrap around me, encouraging me that it wasn’t me. Your thoughts begin to come faster at me and I struggle to make sense of the torrent of emotions that follow. My eyes widen and I jump up. “What do you mean you’re bullied? Is that why you’re so sad? Don’t cry. They’re nothing. Don’t let them get to you, friend. Stand up for yourself!” I say, angry that I couldn’t help. I wanted to protect you, but I was just words printed in a bunch of pages. “Say… you never told me how you got my book..” I trail off. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to bring that up. I can feel you laugh quietly as the thoughts wrap around me. “Oh. You were hiding and saw my book on the floor. You picked it up on a whim.” I felt slightly disappointed. No one was interested in little ole’ me anymore. I felt your comforting aura wrap around me, and I felt like this was what a hug would feel like. A smile lit my face.

It's been awhile since I last saw you. You'd been gone a long time. I was lonely, but now I'm not. I smile up at the sky as the light shines brightly down on me. I can feel your happiness as my thoughts become known to you. "Don't be guilty." I tell you. "It's not your fault. You were busy. I'll always wait for you. You'll always come back to me, won't you?" I can feel you nodding in agreement. I thought I heard you say something, but I can't make out any words. I let out a soft sigh and lay in the grass on my back, arms folded behind my head. I can feel your questions.   
"You want to know what I've been doing? Well, I've been watching the clouds and the stars. Sometimes it's hard to sleep." I admit the last part reluctantly. I pause at your questioning silence. "I'm afraid..." I admit slowly. "I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, I won't see you ever again. It's such a childish fear, but I can't help it. Sometimes, I find myself afraid of the darkness, even though I've lived in it most of my life." I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel better; free. I smile at your comforting gaze. "Thanks." I say. 

I frown when your feelings turn sad, and it takes me a moment to understand. "No.. I.. please don't go. You just got here!" I'm suddenly overcome with this irrational fear that you'll be gone for good if you left now. My tone turns pleading and fearful. "Please.. don't close the book. I don't want to die." I feel your shock, your guilt, your sadness. I can feel how torn you are in your decisions. Finally, I feel your decision. "Okay... promise?" I ask, staring at the darkening sky. I feel your confirmation. "I'll hold you to that. Don't leave me alone in this cold world." I smile up at the sky. I watch as the sky slowly becomes darker and darker, until finally, the stars finally come out to play. I sit back to relax, and begin to count.

A couple months pass by and I’m happy. I found a friend in you. We talk about everything and anything. I listen when you’re hurting, and I try my best to cheer you up. I can’t help but feel that I’m a failure though. I can’t huge you, or kiss your tears away. I can’t protect you from the hurt you’re going through. I can’t be beside you. It hurts me more than it hurts you. It takes me a while to realize because I refused to accept it. I refused to let it get to my head, believing that it was insane for a book character to fall in love with a human being that’s living and breathing. I was simply words put on paper. I wasn’t alive. How could I love you? It was insane, I thought. Until I heard you. “I love you.” Your words make me freeze. I stare at the sky in wonder. Was this a dream? I feel your sadness, and quickly deduce that no, it wasn’t a dream. I bite my lip, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake. “I love you too.” I finally say. Your happiness brings a wide grin to my face. We talk about our emotions. You recite a poem you wrote in English class to me. I can tell you’re very proud of yourself. Having gotten to know you, I know you’re good in math, science, and art, but you can’t do a thing in writing. You love to read books, and you like being alone and in quiet places. You like to take midnight walks where no one can bother you, and you detest gym class. You have a dog who is getting old, and you’re sad that Butters’ time is coming to an end. You’re only seventeen, and it makes me sad that your soul is filled with so much pain. I reach to the sky, wishing and willing the words of these pages to pull that pain away. I’d take your pain any day to see you smile.

I’m worried about you. Your visits are coming less frequent. I know your eighteenth birthday is coming up, and I want to wish you a happy birthday. My fears are coming back. I try to tell you, but I can’t. I’m sure you wonder though. You’re quieter than usual, and I care feel your worry. You tell me you’re in pain a lot. You have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I wish you good luck before you close the book.

A few days pass before I see the light again. I’m happy, but my smile is instantly wiped as it immediately begins to rain. I worry instantly. “What’s wrong?” I ask you. It’s silent for a moment as I hear the thunder. I hear your voice, but I can’t make out your mumbles. “What? I can’t hear you.” I say, staring at the bright light above me. “I.. I have cancer.” I hear. Cancer. I knew what that was. Despair fills my heart. “Well.. it can be cured! They caught it in time right?” I ask hopefully. Your silence is the answer I need. No.. they didn’t catch it in time. It’s too late. “I’m so sorry.” I whisper. My voice cracks. I feel like crying, but I’m not sure if the ink would bleed if I did. “Please don’t cry Reader. Instead of letting it bring you down, do everything you’ve dreamed of doing! Don’t waste your last days… How long did the doctors say?” I ask, dreading the answer. “A couple months…” Your voice is quiet and pain-laced. You’re terrified. “I don’t want to die..” A hiccup escapes me. “I’m so sorry.” I cry, tears running down my face. I don’t care if the ink runs. I’ll share your pain.”Don’t be scared. I’ll always be here. No matter what.” I whisper. I feel your goodbye before the darkness comes back. 

Your visits are barely called visits anymore. It’s a simple ‘open book, talk for a few minutes, get tired, close book, go to sleep’ deal now. You’re weak. You tell me you’re in the hospital, waiting to die. You did some things you wanted to do, but you just can’t do much anymore. You feel lethargic now. I cry silently in the darkness every night. I pray for you. 

When you open the book next, I can feel your pain. I can feel your fear. “It’s okay.” I soothe, trying to help. You stay silent. “I love you.” I tell you. I can tell you love me too, but you can’t say it. The darkness comes back. 

I wait for a long time before the light comes back. I feel your happiness. “You’re okay!” I exclaim. Yeah! I feel great! You say. I smile at you. You say you don’t have long, so we chat a bit before you have to go. I’m happy for you. Truly. I feel like my prayers were answered.

The next time you open the book, I immediately know something is wrong. I’m dying. It didn’t go away! You cry to me. I can’t answer, too shocked to form words of comfort. My silence drives you away. “I love you!” I cry just before the darkness consumes me.

The book opens after months of darkness. I spring up to my feet. “Reader!” I shout in joy. Your silence makes me frown. I’m sorry. I love you. You say. I’m confused. The darkness comes back before I can reply.

I wait and wait and wait. I begin to think. Why would you apologize to me? My eyebrows furrow. You were so happy. Feeling great. Then it all came back. Then, you apologize. You say you love me. It came back- Oh. I get it. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I continue to wait. Three months pass. Then four. Five. Eight. Twelve. And finally, I truly get it. You’re not coming back. I sit and cry into my arms, mourning over the loss of my friend and love. “Why?!” I cry at the dark sky. The stars sparkle. “Why?!” The stars are oblivious to my pain. They continue their joyous dancing. I’m angry, hurt. Grief stricken. The words pound into my head. My eyes close and I let myself fall.

You’re not coming back.


End file.
